Today I finally cried for myself. Cried for my struggle, for my pain, my grief over the loss of my identity as an independent person. I realized that I am really at my wit's end and that I have to find a way out. I have spent the past four years worrying about someone else's well being and have neglected to care for my own. I am tired of it, but I don't know what to do. I don't know if there is any one out there who can help me. I have a feeling its something I have to conquer myself. I just doubt that I can find the strength to do it. I fear for both of our safety. Which is a really shitty place to be.
But, at least, today I finally cried for MYSELF. It's nice to remember that I still matter to me.
Anonymous
Labels: grief, pain, recovery, sadness